=(... what do i really want to be... i've been thinking a lot about that... is engineering really my field? why did i choose this course anyway? -_- ... i've never really thought about what i wanted to be until i came to 1st year... now... there is no turning back... is there?? argh!!! i just wish i can just leave everything behind and turn tail and just go out into the world.. leave everything... leave everyone and start anew.. =(
but i have to stick it up to the end rite? or else i'll be disappointing everyone.. including myself.. and just escaping responsibilities.. i'm always trying to convince myself.. "Once i've finished this course, i can do what i want".. issit true?? or "i can take another course after i've finished this".. but ya noe... i'm kinda tired, sien, lame, baka!! iiisshhh!!!!! so sien of studying already... i'm trying to look for a way out!! HELP!!!! ARGH!!!!! =(
So what now? i don't know.. another 2 years and i'll be done.. tat is.. IF i can get myself together to finish it.. it isnt nice and comforting to try to do something that you don't like.. hmm.. kinda like working rite??
There's some of my friends who are going for industrial training this summer break.. well.. ok~ so what do i noe about being an electrical engineer in practical? zip.. nth.. nada.. a big O... so if i do go for training.. i'll be like a noob.. a tourist down the sub station.. taking pictures, and notes of things that i'va yet to comprehend~.. duuhh~~ Last time, i made the reason why i chose EE was because i have a little knowledge in EE because of my father, and there was a scholarship sponsored by SESCo.. well.. it had better pay than being an artist or english teacher right?? i feel like reconsidering all my previous decisions.. but i cant.. wont it be a big surprise to everyone, if i just packed up and disappeared to no where? a long long vacation to face the harsh realities of the world.. perhaps then, i would be able to see the light more clearly... DAMN!! a dream which can never come true..
-_-.... lame lame lame!!! GGRRHHH!!!! I wanna shot out loud!! i want to go to the beach and release all that negativity~~ that bad aura... u can see me sleeping these past few days.. not wanting to do anything... soo sien of life that you can't even imagine... and dont u ppl say.. "u need 2 get urself a girl~".. tat has nth to do wif this... ish~!!! bloody hell!!!!
BAM!! BAM!! BAM!! being urself is just soooo unacceptable in society... i feel like i'm gonna burst anytime...DAMN IT!!
