for money, religion, age or LOVE?

yup! John has officially gone bonkers~ burden by the thoughts that he wouldn't normally have if he were in miri~

So what's gotten me so fired up? bonkers? confused? ahh~ the answer is simple. What always causes a man's heart to go in a state of panic and confusion? at the moment i admit, it's just a phase i have to get thru and get it out of my system before i can actually think straight.

Okay~ I don't have much experience with girls, and most of the time girls think of me as no threat to actually 'court' (mind the quotes) them. So~ I become the guy who everyone uses... well, that my experience from hanging around them most of the time. If anything else, girls whom i don't know, i'll probably keep my distance, just acknowledging when necessary~

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I've always been thinking about the title of this blog. Money... the fact is that money plays a big part in this real world. For me, I feel less confident when the girl I'm aimming for is actually richer than me. This with the idea that my family is not as rich compared to hers. And most of the time, those people are much smarter and well... have better expectation. People expect a princess to marry a prince and not a princess with a peasant.

Religion- Why religion? I must confess that I'm not a very good Christian. I'm not as excited as praising God as much as Cruz but I do have faith in God. I don't wear a cross, neither do I go to church as often as I should especially when I'm by myself in Miri. Confession is something I'm not very comfortable with but if I have the chance, I will (how long has it been~). I'm a RC and naturally, to make life simplier I'd chose another RC. BUT that makes things harder! Should I be bounded to only chose RC? I feel like I shouldn't... but...

Age - I'm not that particular about age but not everyone is ready to accept a younger or older person. My condition has always been someone no older or younger than 5 years... naturally right?! But I really wonder what do older women think about having younger men?... a bit troubled with this because yea, she's older than me by a bit nia la~

For love eh? if everything were as idealistic as it can be~ love would have solved everything in the world! But reality is harsh and there are lots of boundaries... the 3 I've mentioned are some of mine... I'd love 2 write all my thoughts on9 but it's unapproriate... these are better left on private messages...

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So? How's work? Ahh~ I feel as if I should stay at the substation rite now. It's the last day for me to be attached to the PCI department and from next week.

Today is the commissioning of the Airport substation and I went with my father because they think that i'd be boring for me to stay there and watch them do their work. Plus... it's like they are baby sitting me. Everyone was there, Mr. Yeo, Michelle, Lemond, Antony, Yazid, Mr. Lau, Fam, and one of my dad's collegue.

Went around the sub, learned bout the workings with my dad while most of them were doing the relay testings. Actually I wanted to know more about relay testing but I guess I can follow it up next week when I'm 'bored'.

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btw guys~just for your convinience, i sort of made small fonts coz those r my opinions which can be ignored~ yea... if u wanna noe more then read more loh~...

facts kah?

1. John is wierd.
2. John attracts wierd people.
3. John is attracted to wierd people.
4. John is wierd because only John will think if he is weird.

Working, actually takes up a lot of time. Now I know why grown ups look forward to weekends and if we ruin their weekend break, they'd go bonkers. Haha
Having to wake up at 6am, get ready to go to work. 7.10am leave house. Arrive in office about nearly 8am due to traffic. Did some readings and about 8.45am about ready to leave office for tea break via site work. 10am reach the site and start observing and asking questions. Then finish work at 5pm~ Reach home at 5.50 - 6pm
Btw i'm currently working in PCI, it's the only department which has 2 female engineers; Ms. Ng and Michelle. loL~
Ms. Ng has been working in Sesco for a couple of years liaw so quite experience la~ Michelle has only been in Sesco for about 1 month nia! n Ms. Ng actually disappeared on the 3rd day of my training (take lift loh~). Michelle pula la~ she just graduated from curtin! my senior... X{ during the 1st day of training it was kinda akward when i met her coz like, huh? she looks like a trainy but she's doing something on the computer~
Anyway~ away from all that. Michelle reminds me sooo much like Karen!! X{ she looks kinda da same, acts kinda da same, and! she's da anak boss orang!! X{
this is when i realized those 'facts'...

p/s: i noe weird is spelled weird n not wierd

fate week~

These are Fate stay night gashapons. 500 yen each~ Release in October 2006. Might be thinking about buying them xP.

About Fate~ Kinda nice anime~ a bit like shana~ n yea.. addicted to it... urgh! saber n rin is a must!

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Work~
Today at work! Site visit!! YAY! iw as so bored in office that i almost fell asleep! ARGH! this is bad... i wonder if next time oso juz work...feel sleepy... aduh!! btw~ site visit was fun! at least more interesting than reading books in the office for the whole day!
Went to Assar Chemical Sub Site for relay testing. I dint manage to see the relay testing but i did manage to watch them do the CT and VT testing! wow!

Here is the switchgear and VT n CT (btw, it's Voltage Transformer & Current Transformer). I wont go into much detail lah~ since quite technical~ maybe if i manage 2 see some sparks or sumthing then more interesting hahahaa

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Oh yea! My gundams are fighting in my showcase! loL~ btw, bonus aru, nagi & luna at da bottom.. forgot to edit it out.. xP

work~

ahhHH~~ first day of work... n urgh~ i'm soo damn tired... not much moving around..just sitting in the office n reading materials regarding the division i'm in.. currently "protection, control & insturmental"...
went out wif my dad to substation to have a look see to have a better understanding of how things work... urgh... ok lah... tired.... a bit headache... goin 2 rest awhile.. Zzzz

Home~

Waaaaa!! Back home liaw!! Yawn~ still not enough sleep... Bring back all my stuff from miri was a hassle... especially with 5 boxes!!! Hehe~

Things were nice when I came back... sigh... but that only lasted after I've only been here for 12 hours...

WARNING! Dont read the things i've written below unless u r really really interested! It's a long long crappy rant 4 me to release all the crap that has happened..

sigh~ From the time starting from now, my bro is at it again... i think i should call it 'holiday sickness'... yes... he is sick... DAMN HIM!
I'm not so sure what his problem is... well u all know... he never wants to tell... just keeps quiet n does everything he can to make u pissed...
This problem began in Miri and I thought it'll be no problem... I was soo wrong...
My bro, without any notice or consideration of others, decided that he wanted to bring his computer back... When we (housemates n I) were discussing on what we were bring back home, he din even bother to mention what he was bringing... so... i thought it'll be like the same as last time... 2 bags... sigh...
I decided to let him bring his computer. I knew when I got back, No matter what la.. I cant use the computer... because his was plugged in... So, i asked him 2 bring his LAN switch n i brought my LAN wire... Just in case... n now... it seems that i really need it...
So of to kch we went... my bro was pretty good for most parts of the day... so i thought... hmm... ok lah... try to make a deal with him... just add another hard disk to his com so that we didnt have to use to computers and let the electricity bill flow like water... he agreed... only for a few hours...
I was kinda happy that ok, now i can get to use the new com instead of the grandfather 1... it's much faster n more stable so who wouldnt want to use it?
I don't know how i pissed him, maybe because i updated the com (because it's better. His com has window bugs). Maybe because my dwnld speed for my dwnld was faster. Maybe i nagged him about restarting the com. BUT!! How da hell am I suppose to know?? He didnt tell me!! He was pulling is 'holiday sickness' gig...
After nagging him to restart the computer (come on... only a few mins... cant u even spare tat much time?!!) ... I decided to wait for him to do it... (Which he did not until 1am...) Apparently he was organizing his files n i was watching tv while waiting...
Then all of a sudden, he shut down the computer, plugs off the cables n got a screwdriver... OK, me, I was asking him, Why did he shut down, What is he doing? His reply, '............'
He was up to a point of taking out the Hard disk which i had placed in earlier... and that was it... I couldnt take it anymore him not answering me... so I called dad... bare in mind... it's 1am n it was my last resort... Sigh... i wish i dint... actually ruined all my parents effort of providing everything nice for us when we came back... sigh... that asshole...
So, my parents had 2 wake up n start da ugly task of asking "What is going on?! What's with you 2? You just came back!" ... sigh... let me repeat... "holiday sickness"
He stopped... I explained to my dad trying my best to not be too bias on my side... hoping to hear His explaination... again "......." Tried explaining to him, asking him what he wants, what does he want to do.. again "......."
Up to a point, I took over the com and assembled it back... then ended up taking all the parts that belonged to me. And yes... using the old com back... I told him, "FINE! you dont want a win win situation, I'll take my parts and u dont hav to use this com. I'll just reuse the old com... Sigh~
by the way... the new com was suppose to be da family com at home n da old 1 is his... n da DVD-ROM drive, i let him used it after da last conflict last holiday as a sort or pity him, hoping he;ll understand... i'm an idiot to believe that...
So, after the disassembling n assembling... gave him 'his' new com n ask him 2 bring it up n go 2 sleep... my dad was still blur... i know... i shudnt hav called him... n yea... it's actually me who spoiled my parents idea of our nice holiday... i think i could hav done all da above wifout bothering my parents n making them feel disappointed... but i was like sigh... dunno lah... me n my bro hav issues... n he has his own big 1 (da not talking when pissed 1)... i mean... COME ON! if u hav at least said something about what u want to do n not do n not say... things could hav come out not as bad... i was even tempted 2 just take his harddisk out n asking him 2 leave wifout the whole CPU... sigh...
I'll say my sorry 2 my parents in the morning... going to church oso... sigh... i just hope my bro talks in the morning... as in discussing how he wants things... or else... my parents will most probably try 2 get it out of him n make him more pissed n cause another conflict n things go worse...
I think i better stop... i'm killing myself staying up too late... nitez ppl... hav 2 wake up early in da morning 2 make sure he dun coz more probs... SIGH~ RAWR!!!

OPENED~~

hmm... even though i say it's open~ i'll only post something up tomorrow when i'm back in kch~~ ahhHH~ home!! my cats!!!! YAY!!!! food!! YAY!!
work.... bleh....

well... i got lots of things i want to say~~ after i get some good rest.... Zzzz

CLOSED FOR EXAMS

13/6 - ESE
14/6 - PSA
16/6 - REP
23/6 - CS
24/6 - back in kch

Angry... more at myself than the world!

When I get frustrated, angry, annoyed with anything or everything that has or will happen... I feel like blaming it all on the world... hurting people in the process... myself included...
When I really think about it... it's all due to my own lack of judgement and ability to make the right decision... it's like a cycle... everything that I do will end up affecting myself in the end... really... it... feels like i'm leading myself to destruction...
Just another bad day~~